it is a time when everything around me seems surreal. two days before i had my komedy friends surrounding me, a week back my love, a month back my producers. some how the spectrum went from a brilliant yellow, to a sombre tan, to a soul sucking black.

the layout of my room looks some what like this – my computer with 24×7 broadband, cable tv with illegal broadcast of IPL, air conditioner, attached bathroom (without lights sadly), a cushioned couch. practically everything that i need and everything that epitomizes a dream!

amidst all these muscle movement deterring comforts, to the extent of even not having to get up (except for pee), the viral black surrounds me. thoughts i can’t comprehend skim through my grey cells as another six is hit. mundane. life is a snail right now.

occasionally i get up to take a bar of chocs from the refrigerator and back again i am on my couch to gobble down another episode of death note or another match or another something else. nothing seems to be moving for the past day but life seems to have changed. or maybe it’s just me. the funny bunny surfaces again, skipping along, taunting me, teasing me, at some level maybe asking me to chase it down. (y)alas and (y)alack i’m on my couch. zzzz…

up again i get, and want to tear out into the open, be surrounded with people, being pushed, smelling sweat, eyes dilating, sun shining. A bee stings me on the neck, and i fall. zzzz…

all said and done the end of the spectrum is black. as much as i may deny – i just like black. and as much as i may deny that – black is what i have.