so amidst an upcoming play, and a fattening, shopping-spree of a holiday, life finally seems to be returning to normalcy. several things seen and done over the past semester and life is giving signals to return to track. it’s busy time again after 6 months of wild(erness).
semester exams around the corner, a possible XAT after that (still contemplating – some would say balls), lines to learn, songs to make, projects to do, books to read, back-up jobs to find, cigarettes et all to quit are some of the things in the pipeline.
it’s probably the right time to pen down the wide range of happenings – the fag end of my holidays. so here are a few things i did, saw, felt, thought, realized.
1. spent hours tripping alone. not the best of the things to do i found, but i somehow grew into it and liked it. can’t exactly say i was spoilt for choice in matters of company. suddenly i did not seem to have any in fact. people around me, the ones i knew, suddenly moved out my frame. or maybe i moved out of my own frame. either ways, bulk of my time spent at some altitude looking down at the generalities of human race and the specifics of cosmos. nothing heavy, just the easy smooth method. even managed to bug some certain one or two with all the thoughts one fine evening. discovered a probable larger purpose to life, but it did not necessarily seem right or for that matter even necessary. smaller ones suffice just fine.
2. took to religion on some weird notion of purpose driven by addiction. honestly, not disappointed. Hinduism is awesome. more metaphorical, the way i perceive it, of lives and happenings eons (literally) ago. the Mahabharata was an amazing insight and in fact started quite a fire. so, in conclusion, lots of sex but that is not all! some amazing characters and emotions explored to quite some depth. all those formative years of the Mahabharata on the television paid dividends as the interest in the sub-stories and sub-characters gained maniacal proportions of analysis having already been familiarized to these to quite an extent earlier.
3. discovered my family. there are enough and more numbers and types of humans to look for in your very own family tree. just trace all of them down (as many as you can). i have a perima who’s losing her mind because of years of solitude and no one seems to care, a grandfather who’s headed for outer space (that is what my perima calls death) but still wants to cultivate his land and breathe his last in his ancestral home, an insanely unconcerned, uncultured cute 10 year old brother, a workaholic egomaniac of a father (he doesn’t know what a blog is), a really really loving mother, an intelligent but grass-never-green-on-his-side-but-take-it-easy cousin etc etc. i spent quite some time with almost each one of them personally over the last 6 months, and if familial ties bring a forced-upon sense of attachment then it is not true.
some people i know say they just despise the human race, hate it. family is not something to be hated. it is not a namesake unit created by an evolving race but originates from probably the most primal instincts of the species itself. and it isn’t gory to make one for yourself, since as much as you may perceive it to be the need of an evolving race which seems quite despicable, the need probably and the race frankly, it is a lot more simpler than that – it makes you happy to feel loved and to love. and no amount of logic or reasoning can alter that feeling. so love your family and you will have one that loves you someday. for all the scum and deceit the “real world” throws on you family is probably the only anti-thesis of the generally agreed concept of the “real world”.
4. i like people who i can talk to and who can talk to me at my level. luckily i have a few and i, am happy the lot is not an over populated one and, intend to keep it that way, so that when i’m rich some day, really really rich, and want company to sip scotch on a starry night on my balcony i do not have to think too much, as to who to call.
5. i am a big big sucker for goodies. hence, i am thankful my workaholic dad is rich and my mother is very loving to a son she sees once a year, and i know how best to get goodies out of them through slow psychological warfare. in my defense i am using the same to get him to stop being a workaholic and/or and egotist and start being more fun loving and stop worrying about his kids and begin, note the word, enjoying his life. i’m still perfecting my war strategies and the ultimate will be a Mercedes E Class and a voluntary retirement! Mothers are easier to work with. For the record i love my mommy.
6. Tsk tsk! quite a sentimentalist i’m turning into. i like it. i don’t like it. i like it.
7. never know when to stop. so here’s a start.
