winds sway as leaves rattle. not so high up on a branch a spotless white parrot looks to the left then to the right and down finally. as the genius belts out another mindboggler, my head splits as does the heart, nowhere in equal measure though. i was a clown once. working in a circus. drawing crowds with my only trick. tossing not one, not two but a staggering seven balls up in the air, catching them as they fell and tossing them up again. then one fell down and and the rest came tumbling after. the parrot above crows to save me as i slip on that smiling mask.
the crowd dispersed slowly and i did too along with it. clutching onto the miscellany and stuffing in the paraphernalia, i walked on along with a few loving non-livings. as it starts to open up, i walk alone with just a violin playing. there is nothing to look forward to and nothing to go back to. a goldfish meandering about its confines. everything seems refracted. from grim to speedy; from coyote to the road runner. the transitions – acme. 5-4-3-2-1. throttle ahead. as if it could ever be helped that i sang in quavering voice to that bartender for a whole of three minutes amidst the growing refraction. louder i screamed, the faster i went. in pain. in agony. disappointment. disdain. in sheer hopelessness and angst. emotional adrenaline.
engaged in an infinite loop till i brake at the next red.
