maybe

just maybe, this will have some effect and get some of those neuronal impulses up and firing.

all white.

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a scenic view to contend with, i sat holding the handle. leaning on a nearby trunk, with long leaves high above for cover, i sat there whistling. a hat covered my head, even as puffs of smoke formed irrefutable circles into circles. plucked right out of a painting, there were a few colourful fishes floating afar not taking the bait. then there was the sky maybe, or the water current. i sat days on end, idyllic, but all the same, fishing for inspiration.

weekly update

wisps of random food for thought keep flowing through as i keep the daily drone in progress.

there was one night, where i pondered upon the increasing gap betwixt my thoughts and words/actions. came up with some funda filled theory which i scribbled down into my phone. it goes something like this – wait, let me get my phone. sorry – no charge.

after one hour.

thoughts are boundless bearing no attachments. actions are constrained, which is precisely the nature of attachments. a life of free will in that sense must be most fulfilling, wherein actions are truly governed by thoughts alone which are entirely translated. there are certain intrinsic perceptions such as pain, which act as the primary constraints to thoughts being turned into action. say i want to jump off a building, i wont because i would be compelled not to by the physical, emotional pain attached to it.

anyways, enough of such sordid drivel.

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meanwhile, my entire schedule has turned upside down. i sleep by 6 in the morning and wake up at 1 pm. someone suggested, oru naal quarter adichu koundru. that doesn’t seem to be happening at all.

all night, i stay up telling myself, i’ll work on my 28 credit project like every sincere student i know seems to be doing. i start with one movie, then go to another one. then work for half hour. get frustrated, and go on to another movie. and call it a day (literally) and sleep at 630. sigh.

so here are a few more movies i saw.

revolutionary road – (actually i saw this a long time back, but forgot to mention it in the previous movie post). complex family drama. realism to a large extent and a viable emotional extrapolation. nicely done. good performances. emphasizes that winslet is indeed one of the finest actors of our gen.

gran torino – eastwood turns out a clinical performance. in short – oriental slugfest. . the movie goes through the motions pretty well, and the old man is endearing by mid-way. a typical hollywood ending to such kind of movies, but the movie subtly builds up till it. surely, deserved an oscar nomination. weird people – the academy. surely not a performance to ignore.

valkyrie – this one took me back a couple of years in time, when i saw hitler – the rise of evil, downfall, schindler’s list, pianist, life is beautiful all in a stretch of a month. back then, i was in a zone. coming to this movie, it’s highly engaging. you know they’re going to fail, but you still believe in them. the script doesn’t fall through the movie, which could have happened. it’s pretty tight and performances are clinical. certain touches of art like the gramophone playing the bgm when the stauffenberg family is in the underground bunker among a few others are hyperbolic. but on the whole, a good watch.

trainspotting – so that’s what danny boyle is made of. how the fuck did he make something like slumdog millionaire? trainspotting is a brilliant showcase of the class of directors danny belong to. it’s a brilliant movie for starters and showcases some wonderful non-linear thoughts albeit with help from heroin. the wandering baby was a true master class. sigh. danny boyle has gone retrograde from trainspotting to slumdog in terms of art and thought. i hope he feels compensated with those countless awards he’s won.

happy go lucky – at the outset, it’s an out and out brit film. the accent is the irritating brit one. plus it has so many ordinary looking brit chics. quite a let down. but the movie never boasts too much. it’s about this 30s girl still seeing life in its frivolity and living the happy-go-lucky way. pretty straight forward in narration, there are a few bright spots in an otherwise not-so-engaging screenplay. the happy-go-lucky ones would probably turn cynical to such a story. watchable if you have an ear for brit accents. if you don’t chuck without thought.

ze peeeenk panzzer 2 – first and foremost since we’re indians, we are allowed to judge aishwarya for how we know her. hence, the judgement – she utterly, terribly, horrendously, SUCKS (i know i know – double negative. but in this case – it is allowed). steve martin is funny. the story is ok. i find it appealing to my sense of humour. particularly, the jap, brit, ital, blonde bashing that goes on. an hour and a half of good time pass. a relief in my case after the above mentioned heavyweights.

————–

the dhoni phenomenon seems to be never ending. i like the man. he’s got the balls. tendulkar never stops delighting. he was born to do just that. very few people find what they really want. leave him, and he’ll play till he’s 80. true genius this bugger is.

varun gandhi – idiot. what the hell was he thinking. age of media my boy. should i say – jaagore?!

————–

the case of the mysterious beedi

beedi. yes. that’s what the title says.

i got into an auto and bargained for 60 bucks to khader nawaz khan road. it so happened that heavy traffic prevented me from going there, and instead i asked the auto driver to go to habibulla road. i paid gave the auto driver 100 bucks, and he reached into his shirt pocket and returned two notes of 20. i put them into my jeans pocket. then i stopped over for a coffee and a smoke. finished them, reached into my pocket and drew out one of the 20 to pay the man. he returned one note of 10 and rs. 1 coin. i put them into my pocket. two hours of classes, nothing interesting that happened there seem to be relevant to the case at hand. then, i left for home, and i was standing at the bus stop and reached into my jeans pocket to draw out some change for the bus, and out comes a beedi. yes, the one that the title says. beedi. out of nowhere.

these are the case details. i don’t smoke beedis and how i got the beedi is puzzling. any explanations?

blog hunting

finally, i have new blog links which are updated with more frequency than all the previous ones put together.

that was an out-right swing at harish’s writing habits.

blog hunting. good for the writing animal.

the sunrise is here. goodnight.

dialogue of the day

here’s a meaningful little dialogue i came across while watching a delightfully delicate movie.

“true strength comes not by thinking you are in control of everyone, but giving freedom and still having everyone with you.”

hindi cinema is sporadically coming of age.

square one

it’s the new year and at the risk of sounding like a joy-sucker, i say, it’s back to square one. i’m just a green tooth. a bleeding green tooth.

bro’s back!

ashwin: anirudh, what’s 2+2?

anirudh: 4

ashwin: 4+4?

anirudh: 8

ashwin: 8+8?

anirudh: 16

ashwin: 16+16?

anirudh: 32

ashwin: 32+32?

anirudh: hmmm… sixty… four.

ashwin: 64+64?

anirudh: one hundred and… twenty… eight.

ashwin: 128+128?

anirudh: aiyo… two hundred and… ummm… two hundred and… fifty… six.

ashwin: 256+256?

anirudh: enna vidu. kannu valikkardhu. naa thoonga poren. (leave me. my eye hurts. i’m going to sleep.)

state space sensitivities

till sometime back i thought i was the way i am only because i am bored (i’m not mixing up my tenses). i’m constantly picking up absolutely inane random stuff from my environ and glorifying it. for example, i was on my terrace yesterday listening to a racy fist pumping number from slumdog millionaire (arr), and i picked out a cigarette, put into my mouth and turned my head around to look at the cityscape, all in sync with the beat of the song. it absolutely made me feel like a hero! then i realized i was being just stupid about it, smoked it, enjoyed the song and then walked out of the terrace in slow motion still in sync with the beat. randomizing fool.

later that night, i just took off from home, went for a walk on the streets for no particular reasons really. i walked alone, looking around, listening to music, observing silly families scurrying for buses, listening to the sound of the splash of water on the hot tava in a roadside eatery, side-stepping an overflowing drain, all the way to ashok pillar, some 3 kilometers from my house. all this, at 11. i was convincing myself this was some kind of an adventure and something fabulous was going to happen to me, like being run over by a bus, or getting mugged; something that would change my life forever. maybe someone would even make a movie out this one night of my life. i messaged my friend and he said, “thu, periya lord”.

i decided to prove him wrong by making my trip worthwhile. i replied, “lord only i am”. i stopped over at a closing dominos and overcoming looks of, why the fuck is he here at this time of the night?, i ordered myself a nice little pizza and started my walk back home. hardly half a kilometer ahead i got too tired of walking and took a share auto home. i had busted all my cash buying a seemingly stupid pizza. fool.

fool? it’s all part of the education life is, my son.

i’m just too sensitive to everything happening around me. taking in the most minute details, observing everything my eyes can see and deriving a plausible meaning, constructing a back track for everything ranging from a random cobbler and how long he must have been using that single tube of glue, or how the waiter’s shirt has a single stain of red in the right corner below his pocket.

i think i just have nothing better to do. anybody see any other direction in such thoughts? maybe i should become a novelist or a director. but who the hell wants to read or see such boring stuff.

and so i’ve an interview coming up in another two days.

Conspiracy theory

And yet it’s only now i’m feeling truly happy.